yellow, blue and green

Federico Tixi, Genoa, Italy

Sluttering (May 4th)


Flattered that you think I warrant ugliness. Gutters drain west, mud made a mess of us. It's time to leave this place. I'd saw through your wrist to find a better trap that fits. I'd saw through your traps to find a better you. A part of you that lasts. I saw through your trap and into my own wrists. Saw we were through, red ribbons spill to blue: A sight to sore your eyes. I got this dress. I'm hiking it around this waste of laughter. Slow dance alone with no one to the sound of four hands clapping. Congratulations to you both, I hope you're happy. If there's a moral to this story then I wish you'd show me. Hair in the blood, fly in the disappointment. Rubber, I'm glue. I'll write the book on you. It's sticking to my face. You need a little less than what you take for granted. This is the sip that's drinking back from you, Blacking out your eyes. You need a little more suppression of you appetites. This is your honeymoon, in separate rooms, It's neither sweet nor bright. I made a word to give this state a name, this game a guess. I call it "sluttering." It means as little as your little test. You are your worst revenge. Your very means, they have no ends. This is a story you won't tell the kids we'll never have. If you hear this song a hundred times it still won't be enough.

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ONE TO TWO

there are things i'd like to say that i've said too many times before things i should have done instead of looking for a way to get out you'll never know the sorrow i felt or the hours i've laid awake thinking about just what you said how could you know how i felt? i never took the time to figure it out or see how the problems arose i tried to blame the two of you i can only blame myself for the pain we felt there are words i should have spoken but i kept my fucking mouth shut instead words would've made the difference but they always stayed unsaid why won't you ever see? why won't you even see? it's not just me

NEW BIRDS

You just have to be sure you're doing the right thing. I mean it's very easy to forget - she's was just sitting there in the pub with her new friends and her new life and her new hair and it might been five years but you'd know just to look at her. I wasn't even sure it was her at first, I was ready to walk away but she smiled and called me over and we said hello for a bit. When we went back to our tables we were tried not to look over at each other and told our friends to stop staring. I didn't see her for the rest of the night, but by closing time the beer's kicked in so I go up and speak to her and we end up going for a walk and talking about our new homes, our new jobs, our new friends and our new birds. She says she's been going out with him now for about two and a half years, but they don't live together so he'd never find out. And you think about chasing her about school when you were wee and lying in your bed and listening to love songs and pretending they were about you. And the first time you asked her out she said no but one night you went to a wedding and when you came back to the pub she'd changed her mind and you went out. You remember the way she swung her arms when she held your hand but you can't remember how she kissed and now you've got the chance to find out. But you have to remember there's this other kiss. And she's sitting at home, wondering where you are and what you're doing. And you work hard on this kiss and you know it inside out, it's as much yours as it is hers, and it took a long time to get right, it took months of practice and months of embarassment but now you've got it perfected and you've been looking forward to that kiss all week. You can see her breath in the air between your faces as you stand in the leaves and she just asks you straight out if you want to come and stay at her flat. But you make sure you get separate taxis and you go home and there might be a slight regret and maybe you'll wonder what you missed but you have to remember the kiss that you worked so hard on - and you'll know you've done the right thing.

2015, the playlist

this is more or less what i've been listening and loving that has been release last year. i forgot so many things that i'll have to update this list soon.

Alva Noto - Xerrox Vol.3
Heroin in Tahiti - Sun and Violence
Makaya McCraven - In The Moment
King Midas Sound + Fennesz - Edition 1
Roger Robinson - Dis Side Ah Town
Simon Joyner - Grass, Branch & Bone
Konstrukt – Live At Tarcento Jazz
Jeremy Young & Aaron Martin - A Pulse Passes from Hand to Hand
Roots Manuva - Bleeds
Lawrence English - Viento

playlist July 2015

Chain Gang Grave - When Your Friends Become Cops TAPE (Self released, 2014)
Chain Gang Grave - Bury Them and Keep Quiet TAPE (Self released, 2015)
https://chainganggrave.bandcamp.com/

Throat - Short Circuit CD (Reptilian/Kaos Kontrol, 2015)
https://ihatethroat.bandcamp.com

Dan Melchior - Happiness Is Overrated LP (Ultra Eczema, 2015)
https://ultraeczema.bandcamp.com/album/happiness-is-overrated

VVAA - Nu Yorica! Culture Clash in New York City Experiments in Latin Music 1970-77 (Soul Jazz Records, 2015)
http://www.souljazzrecords.co.uk/releases/?id=42522

Flying Saucer Attack -  Instrumentals 2015 (Drag City, 2015)
http://www.dragcity.com/products/instrumentals-2015 

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now playing:

Union Carbide Productions - Financially Dissatisfied (1989)
Terry Callier - What Color Is Love (1972)
Bracken - Exist/Restist (tape) (2014)
Stan Getz - Dynasty (1971)

now watching:
Utopia (Tv Series)
A Most Wanted Man (A. Corbijn, 2014)
Finding Vivian maier (2014)
Tim's Vermeer (2013) (trailer)

-

Grouper - Ruins (Kranky, 2014)
Major Harris - My Way (Atlantic, 1974)
Shellac  - Dude Incredible (Touch And Go, 2014)
John Coltrane - Offering: Live at Temple University 1966 (Impulse, 2014)
Vessel - Punish, Honey (Triangle, 2014)
Scott Walker + Sunn O)) - Soused (Southern Lord, 2014)
Acapulco (radio show on Radio Rai 2, http://www.rai.it/dl/portaleRadio/Programmi/Page-a76f9a9a-5a63-4e2b-aead-9d1c0a1f97be.html#)

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Teenage Fanclub - Thirteen (Creation, 1993)
Fripp/Eno - Evening Star (1975)
Terry Callier ‎– The New Folk Sound Of Terry Callier (Prestige, 1968)
The Necks - Mindset (ReR Megacorp, 2011)
The Van Pelt - Imaginary Third (La Castanya, 2014)